EASE DOWN THE ROAD

It used to be, at least as I remember it, somewhat common for an audiophile to collect music. By “collect,” I mean the fine art of hunting down hard copies of redundant import singles, costly bootlegs, cash-in soundtracks, unneeded reissues and barely noticeable collaborations from your favorite bands. Four different versions of Elvis Costello’s first nine albums? Absolutely. Maybe it’s the ready-made culture of today’s buying/burning/downloading/stealing market or just an overall watering down of bands worthy of The Smiths-like obsession, but it just doesn’t seem like the kids are collecting like they used to. The kids aren’t alright anymore, are they? Are most of your CDs by bands with names like Maxell, Sony and Memorex? If so, well, this week’s column might not be for you.

It’s no mystery that Ease buys a whole lot of music – the good, the bad and the in-between – without letting up. Call it a lifestyle. But, since I don’t own a house or even rent a very sizeable apartment, I have to keep my collection around the 2,000 mark at all times. This makes for a lot of trading in, easily at least a couple hundred discs or more every year. Because of this ongoing selection process, most of my collection is occupied by fanatical collections of releases from my favorite artists – all few dozen of ‘em. For example, I have at least 30 store-bought albums from both Bob Dylan and Neil Young; doesn’t everyone? Will Oldham, the guy this column is named after? Thirty-four, and he’s only been releasing records for 15 years. In short, if I like a band, I usually have everything I can get my hands on, including The Clash’s Cut the Crap and The Kinks’ Percy. Did I re-buy copies of albums by The Stooges, Joni Mitchell, Love, Gram Parsons and so on just for LP-like CD packaging? You bet. Why? It’s a lifestyle. Ridiculous as it sounds, I can only hope there are still others out there like myself in these days of fickle downloading.

What am I getting at? Is this a call-to-arms? Does Ease desperately need to find other similarly-obsessed audiophiles with adult spending priorities that, well, keep them living in small apartments and driving $500 cars? No, not really; Ease would prefer to live in a cave on a beach if possible. I am, however, curious why the Ease readership buys what they buy, how they store their collections and, while we’re at it, how they like their albums packaged. Jewel cases? Digipacks? LP reproductions? Ease reader/supporter R. Mike Horan will tell you that plastic has no place in album packaging, and that – like in the days when LPs filled the stores – cardboard is the way to go. Former Ease roommate Sean Smith will tell you that CD collections belong in alphabetical order, each artist arranged in chronological order. Longtime friend-of-Ease John Springer will tell you that buying any and everything – at least where favorites are concerned – is essential. Ease’s longtime live-in girlfriend might just tell you that you do not in fact need to collect everything.

Ease agrees with almost all of the above, especially the part about “any and everything” when concerning favorites. Does Ease really own 29 store-bought CDs from Stephen Malkmus, a guy who has only released eight proper albums? Oh yes, and there’s another one on the way in a few months. So what does this Seinfeldian dose of pointlessness have to do with anything? Well, for one, there isn’t a whole lot of news (or space) this week. Really though, Ease is hoping for some insight from readers. Are there still people out there who treat album collections like family members? Is there still an art to being an audiophile? E-mail your thoughts to us at the usual greg.whatzup@gmail.com address, no matter how crushing they might be. We want to know: are the kids alright? Do the audiophiles with cracking storage racks still have a future?